Our Man in Vienna

Epigrams

The fair sex is indeed fair
but by no means fair.

To love madly usually means
your heart will be broken
in one way or the other.

An erotic ascent to Heaven
is often followed
by an emotional descent to Hell.

You started off as the love of her life
and ended up as an interlude.

In love there are ecstatic moments
but the end invariably comes with a bang.

You’ve been smitten
and then left it the lurch –
that’s the breaks of the game.

Love hurts.
There always seems to be a price to pay
for paradisiacal moments.

You’ll get over it.
You just have to live long enough!

Love turned sour
is the worst kind of being sour.

A dream come true
can turn into the worst nightmare
of your life.

Women give you little pleasure
in one region
and a big pain in another.

The only way to became immortal
is to die in your prime.

Beauty fades and begetting it
is a risky business.
A beautiful princess
and a handsome prince
Should leave things be
and die young.

Only by dying young
can you become eternal.

A beautiful woman who is boring
becomes less and less beautiful
when she bores you.

A woman who may be a bit on the plain side –
but is lively,
becomes ever more attractive
as she goes along.

Women who fall short of being beautiful
can be so appealing,
much more so than beautiful women.
Slight facial flaws can be utterly endearing.

Because man comes from a certain place,
he thinks everything comes from there.
– Alceus

Man wants to return
to the place he came from,
and he can succeed – at least partially.

Reality can destroy the dream;
why shouldn’t the dream destroy reality?
– George Moore

Once the ice is broken,
you can no longer skate on it.

There’s something
gamey about the act,
but when you’re on Cloud Nine,
it’s all sugar and spice.

Only the emotional element of passion
can cancel out that banality of the act.

There are two things that cannot be depicted –
a rose and sexual organs,
a rose because it is too beautiful
and sexual organs because they are too ugly.
It is the miasma of desire that makes them appealing.

It’s not as if it’s so wonderful:
sex is just like going to the lavatory.
– The romantic Lady Nancy Astor

I am the kind of woman I would run from.
– Nancy Astor on Lady Astor

There are two things that cannot be depicted –
a rose and sexual organs.
A rose because it is too beautiful,
and sexual organs because they are too ugly.
It is the miasma of desire that makes them appealing.

Love has pitched its mansion
on the place of excrement.
– W.B. Yeats

I like the female anatomy as is
and have no wish for revision.
If there is a Creator, kudos are due.

Let us thank religions!
By declaring sex as sinful,
they have even made it more appealing.

If you take the sin out of sex,
You take the fun out of it.

 

more Epigrams are here