Harry´s Blog

Senator Larry Craig of Idaho,
a Republican gay basher,
had the bad luck to play footsie
with an undercover plainclothesman,
in what is erroneously called an airport “bathroom.”

Ladies and gents, there is no tub in such locations
The word for such a venue is “toilet.”
Please excuse me for quibbling!

American Toilets

There’s no such thing as a toilet in the USA. There’s only the bathroom. In European homes, the toilet is usually in little booth and is not located in the bathroom.

Americans don’t go to the toilet, they go to the bathroom, where there happens to be a toilet.
The euphemism in restaurants and public places is the “bathroom,” “rest room,” or for the ladies - the “powder room.” When men get crude, they ask for the “john” or the “head.”

Although it’s still to be found in Webster’s, the word “toilet” is simply not used.

Now, isn’t it more sensible and hygienic to have the room for “relieving oneself” separate from the bathroom? And speaking of hygiene, wouldn’t it make sense to introduce the bidet to the bathroom.

Can’t be done in the good old USA! Americans either don’t know what a bidet is, or they think it’s simply for cleansing before or after sex. And as we know sex is a clandestine matter, and we don’t want to have a hint of it squatting right smack in the bathroom. So we sacrifice that convenient hygienic contrivance for the sake of decorum and propriety. Actually, the bidet in the bathroom also in handy after you go to the “bathroom.”

As far as locations are concerned, having two separate rooms just won’t do in an American household. If that were the case, a dinner guest would have to ask to go to the toilet, which no American can do. If he said “bathroom,” we’d have to ask him, “Which one?”

As we know, Americans don’t go to the toilet. We’re set in our ways, and I’ve heard that Webster’s is going to drop that crude word in future editions.

-Herbert Kuhner