Harry´s Blog

Herbert Kuhner

We were staying on the Isle of White with my wife’s aunt. There was a scandal at the time which was on page one of the broadsheets, as well as the tabloids. The Chancellor of the Exchequer had been caught having an extra-marital affair.

When the lady in question was interviewed, she said that she had received her lover wearing suspenders but no knickers.

I couldn’t figure that one out, so I asked my aunt-in-law what that that meant. She, being a primly English, blushed, shyly smiled and sort told me in a roundabout way.

Suspenders weren’t suspenders and knickers weren’t knickers in the American sense: suspenders were not braces and knickers were not golf pants. Suspenders were garters and knickers were panties.

In other words, the lady in question received the chancellor wearing garters and no panties. The purpose of the suspenders was to hold up the stockings, not the “knickers.”

I know that British English is touted to be more mellifluous and melodious than American English, but doesn’t garters and panties sound sexier than suspenders and knickers?

And doesn’t breasts and asses sound sexier than bubs and bums?              

And doesn’t ass sound sexier than arse? “Ass” in the British sense strictly means donkey.

The Germans and Austrians say, “Translated from the American.”

Could it be that they’re right? Maybe we do really have two languages.

As  far as I’m concerned, I’ll take the American every time. Sexual encounters sound nicer.